


The [Censored] House and The Mystery [Bleep]

by Cartoon_Idiot_59



Category: Gravity Falls, The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bisexual Female Character, Breast Fucking, Canon Bisexual Character, F/F, F/M, Foot Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Older Man/Younger Woman, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rough Oral Sex, Scissoring, Sex, Tit Torture, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:33:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29116815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cartoon_Idiot_59/pseuds/Cartoon_Idiot_59
Summary: Some of the smut missing from "The Owl House and The Mystery Shack"
Relationships: Eda Clawthorne/Stan Pines, Mabel Pines/Luz Noceda, Pacifica Northwest/Dipper Pines
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	1. Dipper and Pacifica

**Author's Note:**

> This kind of goes inside chapter 15 of "The Owl House and The Mystery Shack", Ink and Other Fluids. Reading that isn't necessary for this, but it's suggested to avoid confusion. The audience of that is split on smut, so I thought I'd write a new fic, just smut for those who want it and leave it out (partly) in the main story.

Dipper led Pacifica into his rooms. They were more sedate than his sister’s, plain eggshell walls with short natural oak wainscoting. The furniture was plain black leather with two couches and two cigar chairs. There were simple landscapes and a painting of a clipper ship in a storm. Bookshelves were full of books instead of knick-knacks, although the occasional crystal ball, dinosaur bone, or other oddity could be found. The clutter of books and loose papers and notes that always seem to overwhelm any of Dipper’s rooms hadn’t manifested themselves yet. 

He grabbed a tie from his closet and opened the door and draped it over the doorknob. Pacifica looked on with amusement. “Should I be concerned?” She asked. “Who have you been doing at West Coast Tech? You do realize that’s unnecessary, right? No one would bother us except Stan or Mabel and I doubt a tie on the doorknob would stop them!”

“I just always wanted to do that. I don’t have the chance at West Coast Tech. What, I’m going to mess up my relationship with an heiress? Grunkle Stan would kill me!” Dipper answered.

Pacifica laughed. “That’s one of the things I like about you, dummy! You don’t give a damn about my money. You stand up to me! Hell, you stand up for me! The talks you gave me downstairs in the secret room and in Mr. What's-His-Face’s bag were the first time anyone showed any confidence in me! Now let’s see who’s the worst!” she said, whipping off the jacket. “Do you have any music? I’m going to dance for you. Anything but Babba!”

“All I have is one of Mabel’s ‘80s mixes.” Dipper said, placing a CD in his boom box on a bookshelf. ‘Heaven' by the Psychedelic Stoles started playing. Mabel had a newfound appreciation for ‘80s new wave and punk to go with her gothic look.

“Really? I suppose I can dance to this.” Pacifica started moving to the beat and shoved Dipper into a couch. She took his cap and placed it on her head. She placed her hands on his knees and shimmied her breasts in his face. “What are you waiting for, dummy? Unbutton me!”

🎵 And Heaven  
Is just all of our hearts  
And Heaven  
It won’t tear you apart🎵

Dipper complied. Pacifica stripped off the lilac blouse and wrapped it around the back of Dipper’s head. She pulled his face into her cleavage. Luz was right, it was a very good cleavage, solid, pert C-cups you could bounce a penis off of. Dipper motorboated. Pacifica released the top, stepped back and removed her bra. “Ta-daa!” she cried, smirking. She glanced at Dipper's lap. “Aw, little Dipper wants to come out and play! Should we let him out?” she asked.

“Yes, please.” Dipper said. “You can leave the hat on.” He added. The song ended and Freedom Freshwater Revival’s ‘Started In The Swamp' began.

“I thought you said that this was eighties! This is seventies!” Pacifica protested.

“Sixties, actually. I think it came out the year my dad was born. Nobody can control what Mabel does, not even Mabel.”

“Whatever. It’s better for dancing, little Dipper will just have to wait.” Pacifica said. She kicked off her boots, reached under her skirt and slipped out of her leggings and underwear. It should be impossible to make removing leggings or pantyhose sexy but Pacifica managed. The overdriven swamp rock of Freedom Freshwater Revival certainly helped. Of course, the girl could dance. She was a Northwest. It was expected. Eight years of ballet, two years of jazz, a year each of modern, tap, and ballroom. 

🎵 Started in the swamp  
Started in the swamp  
Started in the swamp  
Do it! Do it!🎵

“Okay” Pacifica said, taking a cue from the song. She turned around, flipped up the back of her skirt took a seat on Dipper's lap. She ground her butt into him with the beat. She took pity on him, turned around, knelt and undid his shorts. He lifted his hips and Pacifica stripped his shorts and underwear off. “Hello, little Dipper!” she said to his turgid member. “Y’know, we need to come up with a better name for him. There’s nothing little about him.”

“I never gave it any thought. I’m not the kind of guy who names his junk.” Dipper replied. Pacifica started dancing the Can-Can. She was dressed properly for it.

“I thought every guy named their junk.” She said.

“Not me! Do you have a name for your parts?”

“It’s more of a guy thing, I think. Does Mabel?”

“Oh, yeah. Tons. Lady Mabelton, Pearl, Rosebud, Itchykoo park, and occasionally that damn bleeding bitch.”

“I can relate to that last one! I think every woman uses that. You really don’t have a name for little Dipper?”

“How about…. Tyrone?”

“It’s a little…urban, don’t you think? I’ve got it! Isn’t the plow another name for the big dipper? Plow me Dipper! Plow me with your plow!” Pacifica said and lowered herself on his length.

“Little undignified.” Muttered Dipper. “Yes, ma’am!” he added with more enthusiasm. ‘In Between Nights' by the Remedy started. The couple matched their coupling to the faster beat. All conversation stopped, there was just an occasional grunt or moan. Dipper started to suck her nipples, alternating between left and right. He’d work the other with whichever hand was closer. No teeth, though! He’d learned that the hard way!  
The song ended and 'Zemptation' by Joy Order began. Dipper slowed his thrusting.

🎵Oh, you've got green eyes  
Oh, you've got blue eyes  
Oh, you've got grey eyes  
Oo, you've got green eyes  
Oh, you've got blue eyes  
You've got grey eyes🎵

All were true of Pacifica, depending on her mood and the lighting. I might be the luckiest guy in the world, Dipper thought.

Pacifica’s breathing quickened and a series of moans escaped her. “Yes! Yes, yes, yes!! Oh, God, oh God, ohgodohgodOHGOD!!!” Eyes glittering, face flushed, she dismounted. She stripped her skirt off but left the hat on. “Get your ass naked and come to the bedroom, Pines! I want a pearl necklace!”

Dipper got out of his no-nonsense hiking boots, vest, and t-shirt. Pacifica looked askance at him. “Really, Pines? Socks? You DO know that there’s nothing dopier looking than a guy wearing nothing but socks, right? The pens just put it right over the top!”

Dipper stripped off the socks sheepishly. He put the three pens on the computer desk. “Really? You’re standing there wearing nothing but socks and my hat and you’re sexy as hell!”

“Yeah, it’s different for girls. Now, come on!” she said, grabbing his erect penis and heading for the bedroom. She lay down in the bed on her back and smiled at Dipper. She had a truly beautiful smile, but seldom used it. Dipper and Mabel were practically the only people who received it. Everyone else got a smirk.

Dipper pulled off her socks and started sucking on her left big toe.

“You brat! It’s your turn! You know that makes me….oh, god! ohgodohgodOHGOD!!!” she screamed.

“I like taking care of you.” He stated, simply.

“I’m not complaining, but it’s my turn to take care of you! Now take that plow and plow my tits, plough boy!” She reached over to the bedside table and liberally applied lotion to her breasts. (Hey, Dipper is serious and studious, but he IS a nineteen-year-old. There was a bottle of lotion and a box of tissues right next to his bed where they’d be handy.) Dipper straddled her and proceeded to tit-fuck her. After David Bowie’s ‘Cat People' concluded Pacifica got her pearl necklace. Dipper cleaned it up with one of the handy tissues.

“You like that, don’t you, Dipper? When do you think you can get it up again? I want to fuck some more!”

“Give me a couple of minutes. Besides, I want to try something Grunkle Stan suggested.” Dipper said.

“Am I going to regret this?” Pacifica asked.

“Not if it works like he says.” Dipper responded. He went back to the living room and the sound of Television Commentator’s ‘Girlfriend is Best' live from the Not Making Sense tour stopped mid-song. Dipper brought the boom box into the bedroom, plugged it in, and found another disk. His flaccid dick was already returning to attention.

Dipper reinserted himself inside Paz and hit the play button. A faint snare drum was heard, followed by the piping of a piccolo.

“Ravel’s Bolero?” asked Pacifica.

“You know it?” replied Dipper.

“Well, duh! Eight years of ballet, dummy! You know, I’ve always wanted to try this, this is going to be fun! Let's have a pas de deux!” they matched their movements to the music and managed to last almost the entire fifteen minutes. They collapsed, spent, and drifted off to sleep, wound in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of the music doesn't exist in this dimension, but here's a good approximation.
> 
> Psychedelic Furs: Heaven. https://youtu.be/Ka6Ytku0rkk
> 
> CCR: Born on the Bayou. https://youtu.be/Exu8w2sp2Gg
> 
> The Cure: In Between Days. https://youtu.be/EDMDb8unsIA
> 
> New Order: Temptation. https://youtu.be/xxDv_RTdLQo
> 
> David Bowie: Cat People. https://youtu.be/YWX_MFNOL_Y
> 
> Talking Heads: Girlfriend is Better. https://youtu.be/9r7X3f2gFz4
> 
> Ravel's Bolero: https://youtu.be/6NDwT6SCfk4 It doesn't hold a candle to the '59, but it's closer to Ravel's tempo. Munch is nearly perfect but he plays the thing too damn fast. A lot of the fun of both GF and TOH is making up new band names and song titles. Yeah, I know the text says David Bowie and Ravel. What can I say? Some artists transcend dimensions.
> 
> Oh, I used Pandora to suggest the playlist. I'm not sure what CCR is doing on their '80s new wave station but it fits Mabel to a T!


	2. Stan and Eda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan and Eda's erotic adventures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little TV, a little talk and LOTS of sex. Old men last longer.

Eda let herself back into Stan’s rooms. Stan was on the couch in his boxers and wife-beater and maroon knit cap and fuzzy slippers. Of course, they’d lost the fuzz years ago. There was some sort of period piece on the TV. 

“Whatcha watchin’?” Eda asked, cuddling up next to him. “Looks kinda like 'Bleeding Hearts' “

“ ‘The Duchess Approves'. It’s a remake. It’s not nearly as good as the original. Emma Watson doesn’t have the range of Sturly Stembleburgiss and Benedict Cumberbatch isn’t nearly as stupid a name as Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble. Dame Judi Dench is okay as Elizabeth, though. Also, the costume design sucks, these guys got NOTHIN' on Pepi. Kids okay?” Stan replied.

“Yeah, I think I got the girls squared away.” Eda said.

“Not even gonna ask.”

“I had to shove Luz’s hand on your niece’s tit.” Eda explained. “The girl’s so damn shy! When it comes to sex, anyhow. She’s in your face about everything else.”

“Hey, did I ask? I hope you know what you’re doin’, Eda! Luz is a sweet kid and Mabel’s like a force of nature!” Stan fretted. 

“So am I, Saul!” Eda said, twirling a finger. Suddenly they were both naked. 

“Damn it, Eda! I liked that hat! And it’s Stan, honey.”

“Relax, Saul! Whoever. Your stuff’s in the bedroom with mine. I don’t just poof clothes away, that gets expensive! I’m not made of money, I’m a working witch! Now, let’s have some fun!” she said, taking his cock in her talons, lowering her head and taking the length into her mouth. “At’s etta, ight?” she mumbled, mouth full of Stan.

“It’ll do, dollface.” Stan agreed, hardening. Eda ran her golden fang down the length of him and bit. “Holy Moses, that’s incredible! How did I forget that one weirdly sharp tooth?! Oh, yeah, memory gun.” Eda was massaging his balls with one hand as her head bobbed up and down. Stan reached out and managed to get a hold of her right breast and left butt cheek. He squeezed. Hard. Eda squirmed and made happy noises. Around his cock. One finger found its way inside Eda. More squirming.

Eda lifted her head. She looked Stan over. “Lookin’ good, Saul! Lookin’ damn good! A little pudgy, but not bad for an old man!” she gazed at the part that just left her mouth. “I especially like that!”

“Stan, babe. Thanks. It’s not a bad shtupper, more of a schlong than a schmeckel. Now let me shtup your oyse mokem!” Stan gathered her up in a bridal carry and took her to the bedroom. He tossed her on the bed. 

Eda grinned, light glinting off of her fang and chest jewel and spred her legs wide. “Come and get it, Saul! I’ve been looking forward to this since I got here! I’ve missed you, you old crook! Thinking back, I’m sorry I left in such a hurry, but, y’know, cops.”

“Oh, you’re gonna get such a fucking, Marilyn! I owe you for stealing my car!”

“Promises, promises! Wait a minute! Marilyn? Stan, it’s no fun if you turn it around on me!” Eda’s complaint was cut off as Stan buried himself to the hilt in her in one ferocious thrust. He bent down and took a nipple in his teeth. He worked it like a terrier with a rat. Eda was getting a pounding, Stan neither needed or wanted music to keep a beat. He was just relentless, in, out, in, out, in, out, every thrust pushing her back until her head was banging on the headboard. Wave after wave of orgasm overwhelmed her. She screamed, she howled, she called out to the Titan loud enough for him to hear her in another dimension. They fucked like bunnies for forty minutes, Eda lost track of how many times she came. Stan wasn’t finished. He reached under her, picked her up bodily and rotated her 180 degrees while still inside of her. With her on her hands and knees, he pulled out and plunged into her back door. His thumb entered her cunt and was pulled in and out, rubbing her clit with each extraction. His other hand wandered, squeezing titties, smacking ass, pulling hair. Stan stayed in browntown, stirring the paint, smashing the back door, having a Missouri compromise for about an additional fifteen minutes. Stan had had one of his little blue buddies earlier, he wasn’t going soft. He too, had looked forward to this since he first clapped eyes on his ex-wife.

He pulled out and pulled Eda’s head towards his lap. “Taste it, witch! Taste my petzl! Taste your ass!” Eda just grinned and went down. Stan finally unloaded down the back of her throat. They both collapsed on the bed. “Hot belgian waffles!” Stan exclaimed.

“Titan’s horns! I forgot how good humans are! Or is it just you, Stan?” Eda gasped. She was glowing, literally glowing. Afterglow isn’t a figure of speech among witches. It wears off in about ten minutes. Fifteen. Half an hour, tops.

“I dunno. I don’t get many complaints, not about geshlekht. Now, you ruin their date, drive their hippie boyfriend's van into a ravine... and somehow you're the 'bad guy’. Women, am I right? Speaking of women…I never pegged you as a romantic, Marilyn.”

“It’s Eda, stud. What do you mean?” Eda queried.

“Whoever. It’s just that you’re still wearing my ring.”

Eda self-consciously covered up her wedding ring with her other hand. “This old thing? It doesn’t MEAN anything! It looks good on me! I almost never wear it! I forgot you gave it to me! You didn’t give it to me! I’ve always had it!”

“Uh-huh.” Stan drawled.

“Okay, you got me, Stan! I still love you! I’ve always loved you! But it’ll never work! I’m a witch, you’re a human, we’re from two different worlds! Literally! Oh, shit, Luz dragged me here to give true love another try! I’ll NEVER hear the end of it if she’s right!” Eda bemoaned.

“You’re right, of course, darlin’. Two different worlds. I can’t ask you to stay and I’m not goin’! I finally got my shit together here. But, you can come visit anytime! You’re always welcome! If you turn up while we’re at sea, that’ll piss Poindexter off to no end! Sound like fun?” Stan said.

“I do like annoying dweebus! You got a deal, Saul!”

“Sure thing, Marilyn!” 

“Stop doing that! I’m Eda, damn it! Eeee-daaah!” She got an evil grin. “I do have another reason for wearing the ring. It discourages some of the creeps! I’m a VERY attractive woman, Stan! A wedding ring slows some of ‘em down!”

Stan got an evil grin of his own. “Whoever. Creeps, huh? Maybe this’ll stop 'em!” He reached into his mouth, pulled out his teeth and slapped them into Eda’s vagina. 

Eda looked at Stan, stunned. She looked down at herself and back at Stan. She gave her kegels a tweak and the teeth snapped at the air. She broke up laughing. “You sick motherfucker! You sick, twisted motherfucker! I love you! Can you take a picture? I want to send one to Warden Wrath, maybe if he thinks I can bite his weasel off he’ll leave me alone!”

“Let me get my phone!” Stan said.

‘Here, use mine!” Eda said, handing Stan her scroll. It took Stan a minute or two to figure it out, but he finally got about ten pictures and two six-second videos of Eda’s snapping snatch. He took his teeth back and put them in the cup next to his bed. He wasn’t going to clean them, he looked forward to the flavor in the morning. 

The two of them continued to fuck all night, Stan gumming Eda's nipples, going through the entire Kama Sutra, including the seven or eight impossible positions. Hey, witches are more flexible than humans. For a couple of them Eda simply removed a leg. Eda howled like a siren until they finally dropped off about 5:30. Stan still got up at 6:00  
.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I warned you people somewhere, I'm depraved. Besides, what's the point of cartoon sex if you stick to the possible?


	3. Luz and Mabel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Luz and Mabel did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luz gets some help.

Meanwhile, in Mabel’s rooms…

Luz is sitting on the sofa with a lap full of naked Mabel, with Mabel’s legs wrapped around her and no idea what to do. Luz doesn’t even masturbate, not technically, she lets the spray in the shower play against her nipples and between her legs and enjoys feeling all tingly. She hasn’t even had an orgasm yet, catholic guilt is a powerful thing. 

But here I am, in mortal dread of my soul, and the simpler, more human dread of not knowing what I’m doing and letting someone down. I have no idea how to be a lover, no matter how much she wants to be one. But I’ve got my hands full of boobs, I’m banging my head in frustration against my erstwhile lover, the girl is grinding her crotch into mine and Wow, I’m all tingly thought Luz. I think I could drive a nail with my nipples and WHAT IS GOING ON BETWEEN MY LEGS?! Mabel took her face in her hands and I’m getting kissed again and oh, God she’s sucking my tongue and….

Everything went monochrome. The tones of “Take Me On” by Uh-huh stopped. Luz heard a voice in her head, like King’s but different, like she’d taken King’s voice and added another track in post with reverb and delay. Editing anime clips was coming in handy! What was the voice saying?

“…me Bill. I’m hitchhiking with the furball. Look, Sunshine, I can help! I know what Shooting Star likes!  
Ovg nv gvoo blf dszg z uirvmw’oo,  
Hsllgrmt Hgzi wlm’g orpv rg tvmgov.  
Ru blf wlm’g dzmg svi gl uildm,  
Yvzg svi fk zmw grv svi wldm.”

“That doesn’t make any sense” Luz said in her head.

“Write it down and flip it around! Pine Tree would! Sixer could probably figure it out by listening. The thing is, trust me! Meatbags!” the voice said.

“Waaaaiiiit a minute! Bill? Aren’t you whatever everyone wanted to kill today?” Luz’s defenses went up. 

“That’s water over the dam, Sunshine! I’ve turned over a new galaxy! I don’t destroy universes anymore! I’m not strictly an agent of chaos, not anymore, I’ve SEEN where that leads! Quantum foam, Sunshine! Where’s the room in that for me? You? ANYONE? Frilly stuck me in the furball, what’s-his-name, King! I AM King in a very real sense! He’s got my inclinations and desires. But he, I, want love! To help! To be a useful member of society! Weird, I know! I really want to help! I KNOW Shooting Star! We’re a lot alike! I always liked her, even when I was about to kill her. C’mon, Sunshine! Let’s make her happy!” 

“Well, okay. But only IF I can call it off any time! And you have to let me talk to you like this if I need to. Or even want to. Deal?” Luz told the voice. 

“I don’t make deals anymore, Sunshine. But I’m amenable. Let’s put a grin on Shooting Star’s face, huh?”

Color came back into the world. The music was playing. Luz started kissing Mabel back. Oh, this was nice! Her hands moved to the undersides of Mabel’s breasts and stroked them. She broke off the kiss and bent down, taking Mabel’s right nipple in her mouth while her hands grasped the girl’s fundament and kneaded. Luz noticed that Mabel had a piercing in her left nipple. A gold ring. It was hard to see against the tattoos. (Yes, Mabel had a tight spiral tattooed on her left nipple and areola. Yes, it hurt.) Luz reached for the ring….

Everything went gray again. “Are you sure about this? She wants me to hurt her?” Luz mentally demanded.

“Yes. It’s complicated, Sunshine. Shooting Star is in control of most social situations. It’s important that she has some situations, intimate situations, where she ISN’T in control. She’s also guilty about, well, me! She feels like she deserves pain and anguish. Also, and you meatbags don’t understand this, pain is hilarious! Most important, pain is the universe telling you no! Stop that, you’ll cause damage. The thing is, some entities if you tell them no, they shout back YES louder! I told you Shooting Star is a lot like me!”

Back in the real world, Luz bit down hard on Mabel’s right nipple and took the ring in hand and twisted. Nearly completely around, about 340 degrees of rotation. Mabel threw her head back and gasped.

“Oh, Luz! Omigod, yes!! Yes! Harder! MORE!!” She moaned. Mabel’s hips quickened their pace and Luz spred her own legs. They were nearly clit to clit now, just three layers of fabric between them. Whatever was going on between her legs intensified. Her teeth released the nipple. She twisted the other in the other direction. She was kissing Mabel again and her other hand plunged two fingers into the older girl. She turned them inside her and curled her fingers back as if she were beckoning someone to come closer. Mabel screamed and her hand and shorts were suddenly soaked. She removed her fingers, holding them in a V shape and another gush of fluid exploded from Mabel again, soaking her shorts more. 

Mabel pushed her into a reclining position. “That’s it baby, now move your leg…” She and the older girl were now between each other’s legs, banging, grinding, slapping into each other. “Oh! OHOHOHOH! OOOOHWOAHOOOOHOOOOH!!!!” Mabel cried. The sensations between Luz’s legs overwhelmed her.

“Oh! Ohh! Oooh! OH SWEET JESUS!!” Luz called. The dampness she felt was joined by a much more sedate flow from her own vagina. Luz Noceda just had her first orgasm.

“That’s my girl! Oooohhh! Another one! Oh, Holy MOSES!! No, two! That’s six!!” Mabel said. They untangled from each other and Mabel was back on or in Luz’s lap. Luz bit her left nipple, pulling on the ring with her tongue. Her hand found Mabel’s clit ring. She tugged on it. “Ah! Ah, ah, AhahahaaahOOOOH!!!!” Mabel moaned. Luz stopped biting her tit and looked her in the eyes. They were brown eyes, bright and shining.

Monochrome again. “You can’t be serious! Hit her?” Luz demanded.

“Hey, have I steered you wrong? She’ll love it!”

Luz bitch-slapped Mabel across the face and followed it with a backhand that twisted the girl’s head around. Mabel looked at her in surprise then a huge smile blossomed. Luz could see love shining in her eyes.

“You get me! You really get me! I usually have to piss someone off to get them to hit me, and things can get out of hand! Fast! But you! You hit me with love! Luz Noceda, I love you!! If we weren’t from different worlds, if you were closer than New Jersey, I don’t think I’d EVER let you go!” Mabel told her. They were kissing again. Mabel had her hand in her pants grabbing her ass, and the other snaked under her hoodie and bra and tweaked her right nipple. Her fingers were inside Mabel again and she was rewarded with another series of moans.

All thought stopped. White noise. Wave after wave of pure bliss. Did I die and go to heaven? The world came back and I’m still kissing Mabel and her hand is in my hoodie and her other hand is in my pants with a handful of my trasero and is my finger inside her and WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

“There you are, baby! Was it good for you too?!” Mabel asked her, face flushed, sweat dripping. She fell onto the couch.

“I, I think so! Wait, too?” Luz replied. It was hard to talk, she was breathing heavy.

“Oh, it was GREAT for me, babydoll! Luz Noceda, you’re a damn animal! Eight times!”

__________________________________

Later that night, as she was dreaming, it all came back to her. What she had done, her first orgasm, everything. Yes, even the voice. King appeared in her dream, wearing a top hat and carrying a cane.

“There you go, Sunshine! I guess a person should remember losing their virginity.” The voice said. It was King!

“Thanks, I guess. For everything.

. "Thank YOU, Sunshine! I got to make Shooting Star happy, part of my new helpful persona. I also got to hurt someone, which, frankly, I've always enjoyed. Win-win!'

"How do you know so much about sex? I thought you didn’t get involved with goings-on!” Luz replied.

“That’s the furball.” King, no, Bill I guess said, indicating his body. “He’s from a species that doesn’t have sex. It confuses him. They kind of bud.”

“Demons don’t have sex?” Luz asked.

“Demons have sex all the damn time! Furball isn’t a demon. That’s a secret, don’t tell him! Where I come from, there’s shapes and line segments. The line segments impale the shapes and become a smaller version of the shape. Of course, I burned my dimension down! They deserved it, but I did it! You hear that, Frilly?! I finally 'fessed up! Out in the multiverse, there’s millions of genders. I’m not sure where I fit in, I lost track of the paperwork. You humans have it easy, you only have, what, eight or ten genders?”

“What? We have two!” Luz argued.

“Says the self-professed bisexual! Keep lying to yourself, Sunshine! Biology ain’t destiny. You got tops, bottoms, femmes, dykes, passive males, aggressive females, aces and aros. Okay, I got twelve. Fourteen, maybe.”

“Okay, I see your point. Can you tell me what’s going on? Why am I in the Boiling Isles. Okay, I guess I’m in Oregon, but you know what I mean! I’m not a chosen one.”

“Stuff happens, Sunshine. What can I say? Besides, you can choose yourself. I did! It could have turned out better but it could’ve been worse. The Owl Lady’s right about that. You can choose yourself. That’s what being alive is all about. Frilly’s just trying to make sure tomorrow follows yesterday. Today’s optional. Of course time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. So, there’s two forces. Order and chaos. Now chaos is just potential. Hydrogen atoms are too organized for for chaos. Like I said, quantum foam. Order is numbers and hierarchies and atomic fusion and ice orbiting rocks orbiting bigger rocks orbiting stars orbiting black holes orbiting who knows what! It ticks along like a machine until it inevitably undergoes heat death. That’s order. But there’s no room in true order for life and death, love and hate, justice and corruption, lies and truth, beauty and ugliness, you and me. It just goes, tick, tick, tick. Order is the enemy of life, life is messy. Order occasionally tries to eliminate life and since time is an illusion, if it ever manages, we’ll have never been. I was too chaotic for here. Your problem is you got an interloper too orderly for where you are. That’s where me and the furball come in.”

“I don’t understand.” Luz said.

“Of course you don’t, Sunshine! That’s not your job.”

“What is my job?”

“To do.”

“To do what?”

“Whatever. Whatever you do. Don’t worry about it. You won’t remember any of this. Except the sex. I’ll let you have that and what I told you about Shooting Star, I want to see if you work it out.”

“What did you tell me about Mabel?”

“How soon they forget.  
Ovg nv gvoo blf dszg z uirvmw’oo,  
Hsllgrmt Hgzi wlm’g orpv rg tvmgov.  
Ru blf wlm’g dzmg svi gl uildm,  
Yvzg svi fk zmw grv svi wldm.  
Be patient with furball, he’s me. He’s you too, Sunshine. I don’t think I’ll be talking to you again, I can only do it here, in Gravity Falls, where I died. In the Boiling Isles I’m just King.” King tipped his hat, twirled his cane and disappeared. Well, that was weird Luz thought, and drifted into deeper sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we are! The smut missing from The Owl House and The Mystery Shack. Also a bit of a lore drop away from the main story because I'm an evil SOB. 
> 
> Oh, "Take On Me" by A-Ha. https://youtu.be/djV11Xbc914

**Author's Note:**

> Most of the music doesn't exist in this dimension, but here's a good approximation.
> 
> Psychedelic Furs: Heaven. https://youtu.be/Ka6Ytku0rkk
> 
> CCR: Born on the Bayou. https://youtu.be/Exu8w2sp2Gg
> 
> The Cure: In Between Days. https://youtu.be/EDMDb8unsIA
> 
> New Order: Temptation. https://youtu.be/xxDv_RTdLQo
> 
> David Bowie: Cat People. https://youtu.be/YWX_MFNOL_Y
> 
> Talking Heads: Girlfriend is Better. https://youtu.be/9r7X3f2gFz4
> 
> Ravel's Bolero: https://youtu.be/6NDwT6SCfk4 It doesn't hold a candle to the '59, but it's closer to Ravel's tempo. Munch is nearly perfect but he plays the thing too damn fast. A lot of the fun of both GF and TOH is making up new band names and song titles. Yeah, I know the text says David Bowie and Ravel. What can I say? Some artists transcend dimensions.
> 
> Oh, I used Pandora to suggest the playlist. I'm not sure what CCR is doing on their '80s new wave station but it fits Mabel to a T!


End file.
